Dante's Inferno

Here's something I found by way of Rock & Rap Confidential. I don't think Silvio would mind that I reprint it here:

by Little Steven, Billboard, August 4, 2007

Die, Greedy Swine! Die! Die!

When we last tuned in, puns intended, our stalwart record companies had completely given up on the idea of actually making great records people might want to buy, and had instead decided to charge radio stations for having the audacity to broadcast their records over the airwaves willy nilly so that even the unwashed unsubscribed could hear them.

Now it's the rights societies turn to go after those thieving huckleberries who run nightclubs, coffee shops, restaurants, and hair salons.

And don't think for a minute you sneaking, sniveling dentists are safe either. It'll take more than laughing gas to save your ass.

The license fee in Australian nightclubs playing records just went from 7 Aussie cents per customer to $1.05--and if there is dancing, from 20 cents to $1.07 per person.

Just in case you're thinking that might bode well for live music, think again, my friend. Performance rights organizations are now going after coffee shops where folk duos play to 50 people.

In Canada the Society of Composers, Authors, and Music Publishers is going after barbers, hairdressers, and, yes, dentists who play music of any king that their customers can hear.

Have you had enough yet? No?

OK, just one more, and then we can all go back to denial.

A restaurant in Florida was contacted by a company that said it had to pay a license fee for music or it would be fined.

"But we don't play music," the conniving scoundrel claimed.

"You broadcast Monday Night Football don't you?" our protector and savior asked.

"Yeah, so what?"

"We own the rights to Hank Williams, Jr.'s "Are You Ready For Some Football," and you're broadcasting it."

Long pause. Looking for the Candid Camera, no doubt.

"I'll tell you what," the former New Jersey restaurant guy says. "Next Monday, when Hank comes on, I'll turn the sound down."

Click.

See you on the radio.

New Reads And This Sopranos Nonsense

Finally got a hold of Anthony Bourdain's A Cook's Tour. I read Kitchen Confidential when it came out years ago and really enjoyed it, but why they tried to turn it into a sit-com...I dunno. His show on the Travel Channel, however, is very good. The Food Network is awful anymore and I can't watch it, so No Reservations gives me my exotic food and travel fix. I wanna read The Nasty Bits and Typhoid Mary, but I'll prolly stay away from Bourdain's novels, despite my admiration for his writing style. I can't seem to get into fiction anymore. I may re-read an old favorite, such as Fred Exley's brilliant A Fan's Notes, or Donleavy's The Ginger Man, two books that are never far from my nightstand...uh, I mean milk crate, but fiction doesn't do anything for me lately. There's so much to learn out there and so little time. Certainly, fiction can often get closer to the truth of something like human emotion, but I'm a frickin' robot, so...And I like history.

Which brings me to America's Uncivil Wars: The Sixties Era from Elvis to the Fall of Richard Nixon, by Mark Hamilton Lytle. "The Sixties" have always been grist for my mill, so I'm really lookin' forward to this one. Also in my bailiwick is Seriously Funny: The Rebel Comedians of the 1950's and 1960's. (I seem to favor books with subtitles). Mort Sahl, Woody Allen, Dick Gregory, my man Lenny Bruce, and many others, analyzed and put into historical perspective.

I've always been a fan of The Sopranos, but I'm not gonna pollute the InterWeb with a tiresome assessment of the series finale. I enjoyed it and thought it was fitting. To those idiots who insist on speculating beyond the ending and the dimensions of the fictional world that is The Sopranos I say, "Get over it!" Did you see Tony get whacked? No! Then he didn't get whacked. Case closed. Yes, it's fun to use one's imagination, but television is not a highly participatory form of entertainment. Your input doesn't matter. We weren't voting on Idol. Ya' wanna participate, get a box of crayons!

You may notice that I have finally terminated my boycott of YouTube. I mean, fuck, I"m BLOGGING fer chrissakes, so what the hell.

My computer seems to be limping along okay so hopefully I'll be able to post more and more often...like anybody gives a shit. HULLO? Hullo? hullo? Dig that echo.

Charles Nelson Reilly - (1/13/31 - 5/25/07)