Zatso Z-List Celebrity Crush #1

Attack of the Show's very beautiful and fairly talented Olivia Munn. Her name kinda sounds dirty. Like, "Hey, Baby! Nice MUNN!" Or, "Shit! Check out the MUNN on that chick!" Or, "Man, she can really..." ah, you get the idea.

Krumpin' Wit Peanuts

I'm Not Lovin' It

Here's something I'm sure we can all agree on: 99% of all commercials suck. Occasionally, you'll see a funny one or there'll be a hot babe that makes the spot worth watching. But for the most part, TV commercials are intolerable. I am currently REALLY hating the new one for the McDonald's Spicy Barbecue Chicken Chipotle Snack Wrap or whatever the fuck it is. Yeah, the one with the dude doin' the rap in Spanish. I know, it features a hot babe, but not enough of her to merit a thumbs up from yours truly. The commercial starts in medias res, with the chick opening her door to two assholes, one of whom delivers the rap. There's already a couple of guys in the house moving a picture or something. I get the impression that this broad is gonna pull a serious train with all these guys. (But I've gotta filthy mind, so...) Then the other prick at the door does the "wiki wiki" thing and says, like, "What? You said you wanted a rap...with a little spice!" Kinda racist, really. The chick then attempts to enunciate the words "wrap" and "rap" differently. Okay, real people simply DO NOT talk or act like this! I am reminded of a sketch from Ben Stiller's brilliant FOX TV show from the 90s where he creates a faux dandruff shampoo commercial in order to mock how advertisers depict young people. (I tried to find the clip online, but it's not on YouTube.) Sheesh! McDonald's always has the WORST commercials. I'm almost tempted to stop eating there. Almost.

Kirsten Dunce

I don't care how wealthy you are, anyone who owns a $13,000 handbag DESERVES to have it stolen. And then beaten to death with it.

Oops! I Did It...Oh Whatever!

Had to snag this photo from Gallery Of The Absurd. Scheck it out. There's plenty more where this came from.

Repeated Viewing #1

SHOWTIME has been playin' the piss outta The Big Lebowski this month and I can't help but watch it when it's on. Hell, it's on NOW! I'm cravin' a doob and a White Russian. Didja ever notice that The Dude never actually bowls? That is, you never see him launch a ball down the lane. This movie will always hold a special place in my heart, if only because my first real(?) job was at a bowling alley. Good times...good times.

What's Wrong, Mommy? Mommy?

Album Art #1

Black Sites

The New Yorker magazine contains much more than those silly cartoons. In fact, the August 13, 2007 issue contains one of the most disturbing, yet darkly fascinating pieces of journalism I have ever read. Investigative reporter Jane Mayer has written a masterpiece, looking deep into the sinister heart of the CIA. And I'm not talking about the Culinary Institue of America. Just read it!

S'ot Up In 'is Mug!

Dante's Inferno

Here's something I found by way of Rock & Rap Confidential. I don't think Silvio would mind that I reprint it here:

by Little Steven, Billboard, August 4, 2007

Die, Greedy Swine! Die! Die!

When we last tuned in, puns intended, our stalwart record companies had completely given up on the idea of actually making great records people might want to buy, and had instead decided to charge radio stations for having the audacity to broadcast their records over the airwaves willy nilly so that even the unwashed unsubscribed could hear them.

Now it's the rights societies turn to go after those thieving huckleberries who run nightclubs, coffee shops, restaurants, and hair salons.

And don't think for a minute you sneaking, sniveling dentists are safe either. It'll take more than laughing gas to save your ass.

The license fee in Australian nightclubs playing records just went from 7 Aussie cents per customer to $1.05--and if there is dancing, from 20 cents to $1.07 per person.

Just in case you're thinking that might bode well for live music, think again, my friend. Performance rights organizations are now going after coffee shops where folk duos play to 50 people.

In Canada the Society of Composers, Authors, and Music Publishers is going after barbers, hairdressers, and, yes, dentists who play music of any king that their customers can hear.

Have you had enough yet? No?

OK, just one more, and then we can all go back to denial.

A restaurant in Florida was contacted by a company that said it had to pay a license fee for music or it would be fined.

"But we don't play music," the conniving scoundrel claimed.

"You broadcast Monday Night Football don't you?" our protector and savior asked.

"Yeah, so what?"

"We own the rights to Hank Williams, Jr.'s "Are You Ready For Some Football," and you're broadcasting it."

Long pause. Looking for the Candid Camera, no doubt.

"I'll tell you what," the former New Jersey restaurant guy says. "Next Monday, when Hank comes on, I'll turn the sound down."

Click.

See you on the radio.

WTFF At Record High

Okay, two words: due process. Having said that, did any of you ACTUALLY READ the indictment against Michael Vick? Yes, I'm talking to you, SCLC! The Southern Christian Leadership Conference is planning to "honor" Vick this week at their annual gathering in Atlanta. SCLC president Charles Steele noted to the Atlanta Journal Constitution that "the organization would find some way to honor and recognize the embattled Falcon's quarterback who is under federal indictment on dogfighting charges." Okay, so, let me make sure I'm understanding you here...at some point, maybe after Jesse Jackson's keynote address, or perhaps just before Barack Obama's speech on Saturday night, or possibly shortly after Bill Clinton cuts the ribbon on the new SCLC headquarters on Monday afternoon, the good people of the SCLC are going to "find some way" to HONOR Michael Vick? The nation's WHAT THE FUCK FACTOR has reached a record high! If Michael Vick is indeed innocent of the charges against him, that's great, good for him. But doesn't the HINT of possible guilt give pause to anyone at the SCLC? Why bother bringing Vick into this at all? The SCLC isn't just warning people to be wary of a rush to judgement, which would be the wise thing to do, but they are planning to HONOR Vick...somehow. Had they planned to do so BEFORE the indictments? It's sad, but this case, almost immediately, became an issue of race.

I only hope this situation will engender some kind of honest dialogue about the racial divide in this country. So far, it hasn't. Many pundits have been pointing out that the rise in dogfighting is a byproduct of its association and glorification in rap music and the inner-city drug trade. This may very well be true, but the implication is that dogfighting is a "black thing". But it wasn't so long ago (a few years now, really, I guess) that a dogfighting operation was discovered here in Northern Kentucky, comprised of good ol' boy redneck types. I can't understand the psychology of the type of person who would engage in or derive enjoyment from dogfighting, but I doubt that it has anything to do with skin color.

OBVIOUS JOKE ALERT!!!

Yeah, Ving Rhames' dogs thought the guy was Michael Vick!

Sorry, had to do it. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Max Blumenthal's Operation ChickenHawk

WARNING!!!
This video may cause righteous indignation and provoke thought!