The "ZATSO?" blog you are currently viewing has been dormant for some time. I may start posting again. Or I may not. Who knows? I just wanted to check in on this old blog of mine that still floats around in cyberspace.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Well, This Here Thing Is Still Around...
The "ZATSO?" blog you are currently viewing has been dormant for some time. I may start posting again. Or I may not. Who knows? I just wanted to check in on this old blog of mine that still floats around in cyberspace.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
An Overlooked Minor Masterpiece
Starring Dick Van Dyke and written and directed by Norman Lear, 1971's Cold Turkey is one of my top 10 favorite comedies of all time. Cast with practically every comedy/character actor from the early seventies, this overlooked classic satire has been playing on SHOWTIME the last couple of weeks. I remember seeing it for the first time as a young kid and I loved it even then.***Spoiler Alert***
I even laughed when the dog got kicked!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Silly Girl...Tricks Are For Douche Bags!

Sunday, December 21, 2008
Havin' A Dance With The Baguette Man!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Peter Frampton At X-Mas
Cincinnati resident and rock star Peter Frampton reads "A Visit From Saint Nicholas" in the studios of WVXU, our local NPR station.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Disappointed By Chinese Democracy?
Here's Nicki Rose jammin' on Electric Warrior.
Allow this ROSE to rock yo' muthafuckin' ASS OFF!!!
Forever worship at his altar of ROCK 'n' ROLL!!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Playing With Yorku
Worst voice dub in movie history, as well as just being creepy. Would you let your little girl play in a boat's "basement" with Yorku, the ancient Chinese guy?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Zatso Z-List Celebrity Crush #6

Even I'M in better shape than THIS guy, so that's pretty bad! Anyway, as difficult as it was for me to do, I had to remove Miss Blunt from my monkey bank. I simply could not continue to crush on any woman who would date such a white-bread, piece-o-shit, no-talent "celebrity". But then, just moments ago (as of this writing), a fortuitous event happened. It's Saturday night and I'm sorta, kinda working with my personal assistant and platonic gal pal Millicent Malinowski. We're half-heartedly watching TV while reviewing my quarterly tax information. Gnoshin' on a handful of Goldfish crackers and enjoying a glass of Wild Irish Rose, I suddenly see Miss Blunt on the screen. She's in the Tom Hanks movie Charlie Wilson's War and she looks AMAZING! Early in the film, we see her in her underwear. She is ravishing. Gorgeous. Insane body. Because I had reluctantly stopped lusting over her some time ago, I had no idea she was in this movie. Millicent, who spends most of her waking hours working with me and is infinitely familiar with my various quirks and obsessions says, "Y'know she's not with that guy anymore. Uhm, that Bubble guy or whatever? The one you can't stand?" I'm up like a shot and rush to the computer to find some confirmation. How did I miss this? They split-up back in JULY! I had no idea. "Good for you, Emily," I say aloud. "Now...if only we could meet...somehow...you'd no doubt fall madly in love with me." Millicent rolls her eyes, shuffles some papers, and hopes that I'm not going completely mad.





Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
A Long Nap
Why does one invariably feel like shit after a long nap? The perfect nap for me is exactly 37 minutes. Any nap longer than that becomes counterproductive. So, if I end up napping for like 4 HOURS, which I did today, I wake up feeling like absolute DEATH! Now I've got a tremendous headache...I slept, fully clothed, with multiple layers, so I was sweatin' like a wooly mammoth...I feel sapped of energy...and now I'll be up 'til who knows when. Millicent is bringing me a couple Bufferin, a can of Pepsi, and a cold compress, so maybe I'll feel better shortly. But damn. I hadda lotta shit I wanted to get done today. Fuck long naps!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Meatloaf...Or Frankenstein's Monster?
My New Favorite Frickin' Show



Sunday, October 12, 2008
Hey, George!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
(Not Quite) Instant Karma
The universe works in mysterious ways. Dig this!October 3, 1995 - O.J.Simpson is found NOT GUILTY of double murder in the deaths of former wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
October 3, 2008 - O.J.Simpson is found GUILTY of 12 charges, including kidnapping and armed robbery, a verdict which may place Simpson in jail for the rest of his life.
13 years TO THE DAY! A little COSMIC COMEUPPANCE! Ya really gotta love life's little synchronicities. I guess the OJ team thought this was gonna be another LUCKY day. O W N E D!!!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I'm A Better Man Than She Is!!!

With Lindsay officially announcing that she's been dating "DJ" Samantha Ronson, my self-esteem has just been given a real boost! I'm not a particularly good-lookin' guy, but I'm a HELLUVA lot better lookin' than this Ronson guy...er, um, I mean girl. So to all you messed-up Hollywood celebutantes: give this regular guy a chance! Better lookin' than Sam Ronson and not nearly as dumb as K-Fed, I'm exactly what you're lookin' for!
Seriously though, Lindsay has to do SOMETHING to keep her name in the news. At 22 her career is most likely over. Her last couple of films were absolute SHIT and nobody'll touch her to work in a REAL movie for awhile, if ever. For a long time, I gave the girl credit. Unlike, say, Paris and Nicole, Lindsay actually HAD A JOB! She had to work to keep that nutbar family of hers afloat. Now this publicity stunt, which the media seems to be taking seriously, is the only way for Lindsay to maintain a profile. Thankfully though, it seems the news (news to some, obvious to others for a LONG time) that this country is totally in the SHITTER may finally push some of this celebrity nonsense OFF the media's radar. Citizens need to start paying attention to what's goin' on in Washington before we get RAPED by this ridiculous financial bail-out. I WILL NOT pay taxes so that some incompetent bank executive can slink off with a $73 million dollar golden fuckin' parachute after runnin' his institution into the ground.
I WILL however take a member of young Hollywood out for a nice evening. How does Red Lobster sound? And after, we can go back to my parent's place. I'll light candles and we can enjoy a REALLY good box of wine in front of the TV. I don't have any movie channels though, so we won't be able to watch Georgia Rule or License To Wed. And my mom makes really good microwave popcorn, y'know. Think about it. We may not have much more time to fiddle before the fall of Rome.
Monday, September 22, 2008
I Hate Jeff Probst #2
THIS GUY!!!Whitest...Band...EVER!!!
Aside from the (thankfully!) short snippets one hears during their incessant VH1 commercial, I've not really heard this band's music. But judging by the brief music samples, their ubiquitous hipster poseur look, and their STUPID name (Thriving Ivory? DREADFUL!) these guys are 'bout as good as SHIT on a STICK!!! (Which, BTW, is NOT the name of another band...that I'm aware of, anyway...but I bet they'd sound better than Thriving Ivory. Thriving Ivory? What the fuck IS that?) Ivory meaning white...meaning vanilla...meaning safe and BORING! Ugghhh!I dunno what to think of the current music scene. There's always great stuff out there if one is hip and willing to do a little work to find it, but most new POPULAR music is just so fucking BAD! As far as I'm concerned it's not even worthy of THEFT! Would anybody really risk a lawsuit by the RIAA by illegally downloading Thriving Ivory's MOR rubbish? "The Ivorys", as I'm sure their small contingent of "fans" call them, are the 2008 equivalent of Huey Lewis & the News...and that's an insult to the News! BOO!!! HISS!!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
WTF?
Recently TRIED to watch Hairspray, the movie of the musical of the movie. What the fuck was John Travolta thinking? Supposedly he was affecting a Baltimore accent to play the character of Edna Turnblad. He actually sounded 1/2 southern and 1/2 retarded. Millicent, my faithful researcher, tells me that Travolta insisted on going that way with the character, much to the dismay of everybody involved. I mean, nobody else in the movie bothered to use a phony accent. Nobody on HBO's The Wire, a show set in Baltimore and noted for its realism, tried to sound like a local. This is just more proof that Travolta is completely unhinged and a self-obsessed moron.
Friday, June 13, 2008
People I Don't Know...But Hate Anyway (No.3)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
People I Don't Know...But Hate Anyway (No.2)
Sunday, June 1, 2008
White Trash With Money
The "Hogan" family is a real mess. Mom and Sis dress like hookers while Dad tries to wrangle a reality show for Bro who languishes in jail. You know...just an average American family. Anyway, here's a link to the Nick Hogan jailhouse tapes. And for more vile Hogan Family fun, check out what Mama Linda wore to visit her 17-year-old SON...in JAIL. Enjoy!



























