Monday, November 26, 2007

Return From Sabbatical

Things 'round here have been pretty nutty lately. My life tends to fall apart when the days become shorter. Dunno...I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or some shit. And how inconvenient when life intrudes on...life. Anyway, so much to rant about, so little time. I was able to let loose with some steam over the holiday and I'm all better. Stay tuned to this blog for fresh, new ranting. And thanks to the buddy who squared me with an entire bag of Watermelon Jolly Ranchers.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Jolly? Hardly!


Okay consumers...dig this! I recently bought a bag of "Original Flavor" Jolly Ranchers...which contained only ONE piece of Watermelon! According to the nutrition facts on the bag, three (3) pieces make one (1) serving of the candy. There are about 35 pieces of candy per bag but somehow I only got 1/3 of a serving of Watermelon. Yeah, I'm aware that the assortment in each package may vary, but COME ON! Is it unreasonable to assume that I'm gonna enjoy at least ONE serving of watermelon? Sheesh! And if that weren't enough, Lemon has been replaced by Blue Raspberry. While I'm not crazy about Lemon, Blue Raspberry is definitely NOT one of the ORIGINAL flavors! I've been a Rancher fan since the old days, so I know. This is SCANDALOUS! The Hershey Foods Corporation has a toll-free number...AND I'M CALLIN' IT!

Friday, November 2, 2007


I'll be back...

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Repeated Viewing #2

Like The Big Lebowski, Showtime has been playing Quiz Show for the last several weeks and I can't tear away from it when it's on. Along with My Favorite Year, Quiz Show is my favorite movie set in the 50s, a time when America was losing an innocence it never really had.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Um, Willie? Yer scarin' me, dude.


Dirty Little Secret


I can't believe the growing number of seemingly intelligent people who are taking this Secret bullshit seriously. The only person getting rich from this pseudoscientific, psychospiritual babble is Rhonda Byrne, the shameless "creator" of the DVD and book that is hoodwinking millions of people, including the already fabulously wealthy (but stupid) Oprah Winfrey. There aren't any novel concepts presented in the book or DVD, but the shallow, selfish, materialistic message is certainly appealing to an American culture obsessed with taking shortcuts to wealth. Why work for your money when you can just "think" it into magically appearing in your grubby little hands? Ugghhh! I caught a friend of mine reading the book recently and had to give her what for. I doubt she'll ever speak to me again...I'm not sure I'll miss her.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Zatso Z-List Celebrity Crush #4

I hated Stacy London for the longest time. As one of the "Style Gurus" of TLC's What Not To Wear she came across as an obnoxious bully, ridiculing the show's participants with her incessant smarm and haughtiness. But slowly, over many months, my opinion changed. She is hot, after all, and I began to entertain what is surely an unhealthy fantasy: imagining myself as Eliza Doolittle to Ms. London's Professor Henry Higgins. I now understand that Stacy is simply using a "tough love" approach to help those who are, like me, severely challenged in the style department. And she's not just a pretty face (and nice boobs) either. Turns out she's crazy smart. According to her bio, she graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Vassar College with a double degree in 20th-century philosophy and German literature. She'll soon be hosting her own show which I understand will be called Shut Up! It's Stacy London.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Despite All The Unpleasantness...

Dave still loves him some Britney!


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Album Art #2


I Wanna Learn Ya'll Sumthin'

Besides featuring the basso profundo ambitions of Tay Zonday, emotional pro-Britney video rants, and amateur p.o.v. blowjobs, the Internet can also be a great tool for LEARNING. Seriously! One of my favorite ways to utilize this virtual education machine is to download or stream lectures on any number of interesting topics. The Commonwealth Club of California is a great public and cultural affairs forum that regularly features talks and interviews with all kinds of speakers on a variety of subjects. The Club's website, which contains a sizable audio archive of various lectures, is a great free resource for those who want to kill an hour or so by learning something new. Check it out here.

I'll post more lecture links in the future, and would appreciate any suggestions that you might have.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Why...

should I give a fuck about the weekend box office?

Friday, September 7, 2007

Zatso Z-List Celebrity Crush #2 & #3

There's only one thing hotter than an attractive woman with a sense of humor: TWO attractive women, each with their own sense of humor. So here's Beth & Val from The Beth & Val Show! Pontificating on any and all subjects, these women of wit are mere seconds away from stardom and a welcome ubiquity. And I have the most pathetic crush on BOTH of 'em!
Check out their clips HERE, presented by the DOT COMEDY website, and get in on the ground floor of what will surely become a cultural phenomenon.

(BETH's on the left!)

Saturday, September 1, 2007

ReveNuTube

In a significant but unsurprising departure from its grass-roots origins, YouTube will begin showing advertisements within some of its user-generated video clips. Google, which acquired the video sharing site last year, stated that the ads would start 15 seconds after a clip begins and run as a semi-transparent overlay on the bottom fifth of the video screen. The ads would run for at least 10 seconds, and users can click through to see more about the product.

There will also be a mandatory $1.00 fee imposed on every "ass-shaking" video viewed or posted to the site. Google expects this fee to ultimately generate many billions of dollars in revenue.

On The Slack

Okay, I know I've been really lazy, but posting videos and pictures is so much EASIER than putting an opinion into words. That is if I'm gonna bother posting at all. Hell, 'snot like I gotta lotta READERS out there. Hullo? HULLO? Need to launch some kinda PR campaign or sumpin'. And see, I'm using a desktop...I get tired of being LEASHED to the freakin' thing alla time, nawhamsayin'? "Mom? I know what I'd like for Christmas!" Anyway, there's so much SHIT goin' on in the world and I don't know where to begin. I'd be here all day and night! And I've got books to read, y'know? Plus, I've got a really bad headache, so...jus' lay OFF me, a'ight?

A Meeting of the Minds

Yeah, I'm totally rippin' off Bill Maher, but I couldn't help it.





Are you like me? Gushing with pride?

Friday, August 31, 2007

Zatso Z-List Celebrity Crush #1





Attack of the Show's very beautiful and fairly talented Olivia Munn. Her name kinda sounds dirty. Like, "Hey, Baby! Nice MUNN!" Or, "Shit! Check out the MUNN on that chick!" Or, "Man, she can really..." ah, you get the idea.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Krumpin' Wit Peanuts

I'm Not Lovin' It

Here's something I'm sure we can all agree on: 99% of all commercials suck. Occasionally, you'll see a funny one or there'll be a hot babe that makes the spot worth watching. But for the most part, TV commercials are intolerable. I am currently REALLY hating the new one for the McDonald's Spicy Barbecue Chicken Chipotle Snack Wrap or whatever the fuck it is. Yeah, the one with the dude doin' the rap in Spanish. I know, it features a hot babe, but not enough of her to merit a thumbs up from yours truly. The commercial starts in medias res, with the chick opening her door to two assholes, one of whom delivers the rap. There's already a couple of guys in the house moving a picture or something. I get the impression that this broad is gonna pull a serious train with all these guys. (But I've gotta filthy mind, so...) Then the other prick at the door does the "wiki wiki" thing and says, like, "What? You said you wanted a rap...with a little spice!" Kinda racist, really. The chick then attempts to enunciate the words "wrap" and "rap" differently. Okay, real people simply DO NOT talk or act like this! I am reminded of a sketch from Ben Stiller's brilliant FOX TV show from the 90s where he creates a faux dandruff shampoo commercial in order to mock how advertisers depict young people. (I tried to find the clip online, but it's not on YouTube.) Sheesh! McDonald's always has the WORST commercials. I'm almost tempted to stop eating there. Almost.

Kirsten Dunce


I don't care how wealthy you are, anyone who owns a $13,000 handbag DESERVES to have it stolen. And then beaten to death with it.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Oops! I Did It...Oh Whatever!


Had to snag this photo from Gallery Of The Absurd. Scheck it out. There's plenty more where this came from.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Repeated Viewing #1


SHOWTIME has been playin' the piss outta The Big Lebowski this month and I can't help but watch it when it's on. Hell, it's on NOW! I'm cravin' a doob and a White Russian. Didja ever notice that The Dude never actually bowls? That is, you never see him launch a ball down the lane. This movie will always hold a special place in my heart, if only because my first real(?) job was at a bowling alley. Good times...good times.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Black Sites


The New Yorker magazine contains much more than those silly cartoons. In fact, the August 13, 2007 issue contains one of the most disturbing, yet darkly fascinating pieces of journalism I have ever read. Investigative reporter Jane Mayer has written a masterpiece, looking deep into the sinister heart of the CIA. And I'm not talking about the Culinary Institue of America. Just read it!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Dante's Inferno

Here's something I found by way of Rock & Rap Confidential. I don't think Silvio would mind that I reprint it here:

by Little Steven, Billboard, August 4, 2007

Die, Greedy Swine! Die! Die!

When we last tuned in, puns intended, our stalwart record companies had completely given up on the idea of actually making great records people might want to buy, and had instead decided to charge radio stations for having the audacity to broadcast their records over the airwaves willy nilly so that even the unwashed unsubscribed could hear them.

Now it's the rights societies turn to go after those thieving huckleberries who run nightclubs, coffee shops, restaurants, and hair salons.

And don't think for a minute you sneaking, sniveling dentists are safe either. It'll take more than laughing gas to save your ass.

The license fee in Australian nightclubs playing records just went from 7 Aussie cents per customer to $1.05--and if there is dancing, from 20 cents to $1.07 per person.

Just in case you're thinking that might bode well for live music, think again, my friend. Performance rights organizations are now going after coffee shops where folk duos play to 50 people.

In Canada the Society of Composers, Authors, and Music Publishers is going after barbers, hairdressers, and, yes, dentists who play music of any king that their customers can hear.

Have you had enough yet? No?

OK, just one more, and then we can all go back to denial.

A restaurant in Florida was contacted by a company that said it had to pay a license fee for music or it would be fined.

"But we don't play music," the conniving scoundrel claimed.

"You broadcast Monday Night Football don't you?" our protector and savior asked.

"Yeah, so what?"

"We own the rights to Hank Williams, Jr.'s "Are You Ready For Some Football," and you're broadcasting it."

Long pause. Looking for the Candid Camera, no doubt.

"I'll tell you what," the former New Jersey restaurant guy says. "Next Monday, when Hank comes on, I'll turn the sound down."

Click.

See you on the radio.

WTFF At Record High

Okay, two words: due process. Having said that, did any of you ACTUALLY READ the indictment against Michael Vick? Yes, I'm talking to you, SCLC! The Southern Christian Leadership Conference is planning to "honor" Vick this week at their annual gathering in Atlanta. SCLC president Charles Steele noted to the Atlanta Journal Constitution that "the organization would find some way to honor and recognize the embattled Falcon's quarterback who is under federal indictment on dogfighting charges." Okay, so, let me make sure I'm understanding you here...at some point, maybe after Jesse Jackson's keynote address, or perhaps just before Barack Obama's speech on Saturday night, or possibly shortly after Bill Clinton cuts the ribbon on the new SCLC headquarters on Monday afternoon, the good people of the SCLC are going to "find some way" to HONOR Michael Vick? The nation's WHAT THE FUCK FACTOR has reached a record high! If Michael Vick is indeed innocent of the charges against him, that's great, good for him. But doesn't the HINT of possible guilt give pause to anyone at the SCLC? Why bother bringing Vick into this at all? The SCLC isn't just warning people to be wary of a rush to judgement, which would be the wise thing to do, but they are planning to HONOR Vick...somehow. Had they planned to do so BEFORE the indictments? It's sad, but this case, almost immediately, became an issue of race.

I only hope this situation will engender some kind of honest dialogue about the racial divide in this country. So far, it hasn't. Many pundits have been pointing out that the rise in dogfighting is a byproduct of its association and glorification in rap music and the inner-city drug trade. This may very well be true, but the implication is that dogfighting is a "black thing". But it wasn't so long ago (a few years now, really, I guess) that a dogfighting operation was discovered here in Northern Kentucky, comprised of good ol' boy redneck types. I can't understand the psychology of the type of person who would engage in or derive enjoyment from dogfighting, but I doubt that it has anything to do with skin color.

OBVIOUS JOKE ALERT!!!

Yeah, Ving Rhames' dogs thought the guy was Michael Vick!

Sorry, had to do it. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Max Blumenthal's Operation ChickenHawk

WARNING!!!
This video may cause righteous indignation and provoke thought!

Friday, July 27, 2007

My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama...For Buying A Shitty Digital Camera!


Saw Zappa Plays Zappa, featuring Dweezil Zappa and Ray White, at Coney Island's Moonlite Gardens in Cincinnati this past Tuesday night (July 24). This band was INSANE! I was lucky to find a spot very near the front and the sound was incredible. I was very impressed. ZPZ performed many of my favorites during the almost 3 hour set, but while I'm an ardent admirer of Frank's music, I'm not so big a fan as to be able to remember the set list. I'm sure you could find the info if you really wanted to, as there is an ENORMOUS Zappa fan presence on the InterWebs. One particularly cool feature of the show was the couple of times Frank actually JOINED the band via the use of synched-up video, à la Nat King and Natalie Cole doing the "Unforgettable" duet years ago. Remember that? Kind of a big deal back in the technological stone age. Anyway, it was great to see a "virtual" Frank jammin' with family and friends.

The audience demographic was all over the place, featuring many colors of the human spectrum, with ages ranging from the tweens to those who were starting to feel old when the Mothers were still young. The level of diversity didn't surprise me, but the level of utter drunkenness exhibited by the crowd certainly did. The men's room was festooned with empty pints and half-pints, with the occasional bottle of Blue Nun making a welcome concert appearance. (How did they smuggle all this stuff in?) I felt like a lightweight after drinking my three beers. About the show's mid-point, the folks around me started to become pretty loosey-goosey, with their liquor intake producing loudly slurred requests and awkward but sincere dancing. One shit-faced (though very attractive) woman to my right began proclaiming her love for Dweezil, pointing at the stage and yelling, while vigorously performing the hip-hop bounce. I gave her plenty of room to do her thing and enjoyed watching her. People-watching at a show is half the fun. Anyway, I expected a good time would be had by all, but I didn't think I would be attending a booze-soaked Dionysian festival! It got a little crazy.

Below, you'll find some of the pictures that I took at the show. They're really shitty, thanks to the crummy digital camera I borrowed from me mum. I shoulda known that the Argus QuickClix 5150 wasn't gonna provide me with quality images when I had to download the device driver, only to discover that the camera had long ago been discontinued. Mom is still learning that when it comes to technology, you usually get what you pay for. Especially since she won the camera playing a claw machine.


The above shots were taken at the very beginning of the show and depicts Dweezil's initial technical gremlins with a new monitoring system. Soon rectified, the band proceeded to kick ass. Now, normally, I wouldn't even have brought a camera. Unless you're a professional, maybe on the job as a journalist or working for the band, I think you should just leave your camera at home. Next time I will.


Above, guitarist/vocalist and former Frank Zappa sideman Ray White.

And here's the proud Poppa, holding the Gibson SG that Dweezil played for most of the show. A cherished family heirloom, to be sure.

Finally, here's a link to a review of the show from City Beat, Cincinnati's alternative weekly.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Sign o' the Times

I wanna hasten the death of the music industry. The most recent example of 'aven't a clue arrogance involves British music retailers and the new record by Prince (the musician, not a member of the royal family). The retailers are infuriated because Prince chose to have his new CD, "Planet Earth", distributed free inside copies of the July 15th issue of Brit tabloid newspaper The Mail, rather than allowing them to sell it. Keep in mind that Prince, in more ways than one, is unique in the music world. For the last 10 years, Prince has been truly independent. He doesn't have a long-term recording relationship with any music label. He records his music and will license the finished work to a major label for distribution or, as he has done in the past, make the music available for sale online. Basically, he can do with HIS music WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS! It is not his responsibility to prop up the rest of the rapidly declining music industry! His job is to make music and wear assless chaps! But tell that to the retailers. One British retailing official says Prince should know that if he keeps it up, he'll soon be known as 'The Artist Formerly Available in Record Stores,' which I guess is some kinda threat. Prince, wanting to do something for the fans that have long supported him, chose to make available some of his music for free. He's not hurting for scratch and doesn't have to rely on CD sales for revenue. But, until CDs became dirt cheap loss-leaders for big box stores, music retailers have been quite content to RAPE YOU by selling every piece of shit CD for $18.98 AND insulting you under their breath as you walk out the door. Capitalism often involves the Herbert Spencer/Charles Darwin concept of "survival of the fittest". The music industry is in trouble because it hasn't been able to adapt to the new technologies that have developed over the years that allow for digital music distribution. TOUGH SHIT! It should go the way of the dodo! Why should consumers and even the artists themselves suffer because music companies haven't been able to figure out how to harness the technology and make money with it? But it's probably too late. Any sense of goodwill that might have existed in the hearts of music consumers EVAPORATED when the RIAA started SUING people accused of illegal downloading. I know it's a complicated issue and I certainly don't have a solution, but it's clear that artists and record companies are going to be forced to adopt a new model for music distribution. But until then, the labels and retailers have to stop blaming their problems on the likes of Prince.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Pray For Me, People!

I am suffering from the most pernicious, relentlessly itchy mosquito bite on the back of my left hand! I've used various ointments, unguents, balms, liniments, lotions, and creams to no avail. I have yet to use a salve, however, so there's still hope for relief.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Man Alone

Okay, so I haven't started my "media fast" just yet. I am, however, thinking of booking a cell at the Abbey of Gethsemani, a Trappist monastery located near Bardstown, Kentucky, not too far from where yours truly is currently sitting...in his underwear. Thomas Merton, a man I have long admired, entered the Abbey in December, 1941 and made it his home for the next 27 years. The monks also make a mean fudge...with bourbon.

Anyway, for those who like a good book, here are two that I quite enjoyed:

I don't--or, more accurately, can't--cook at all. I'm really not even that interested in food, but lately I have been reading a great deal about good food, chefs, and the cooking subculture. My interest has led me to Bill Buford's new book, Heat. In it, Buford (not to be confused with Yes and King Crimson drummer Bill BRuford) a professional writer and amateur cook, somehow finagles a position as "kitchen bitch" at Babbo, celebrity chef Mario Batali's three-star Manhattan restaurant. This is another great one from Buford, and a real classic in the field of participatory journalism. Buford's Among The Thugs, where the author essentially becomes an English football hooligan for several months, is one of my all-time favorite works of non-fiction. I recommend them both.

Another book I recently devoured is Gore Vidal's second memoir, Point to Point Navigation. This volume deals with the second half of his life and is more entertaining than Palimpsest, his first memoir. It's very dishy but also quite touching, as it deals with Vidal's thoughts on death, having lost Howard, his "longtime companion", while also contemplating his own inevitable demise. I don't know about his novels, but I've always admired Vidal's essays, and this work doesn't disappoint.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Generation Of Swine

I may have to impose upon myself a media blackout. That'd mean no TV, radio, newspapers, or InterWeb for at least a week or two. The more attention I pay to what's goin' on in the world, the more disgusted and depressed I become, and I'm already in bad shape emotionally as it is. I know a guy...he's pretty successful, has a great life, recovering alcoholic, sober for like 20 years. His secret, he tells me, is that he NEVER watches the news. He is the most uninformed guy on the planet, never knows what's goin' on, but I've never known someone so serene and happy-go-lucky. For him, ignorance truly is bliss. Until a tornado or chemical spill from a derailed train catches his ass unawares. No, I'm joking...but I can definitely see the benefits of not just ignoring all the bullshit, but not even knowing that the bullshit exists! Anyway, I'll keep the loyal fans in the loop if I decide to lay low for awhile. Maybe y'all can join me in a media fast.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

I Have A Beer, You Have A No Beer Beer

I'll never take a chance on an unfamiliar 6-pack again. Earlier today I purchased a sixer of Shiner Blonde, having been a fan of Shiner Bock, which I tried for the first time during one of my trips to Austin, TX. The Blonde isn't terrible, but it totally lacks a finish. The taste is just kinda THERE and that's it. Oh, I'll finish every bottle, to be sure...it's a sin to waste beer. But I can't afford to spend my meager allowance on a brew that isn't totally kick-ass, nawhamsayin'?

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Hitchens vs Sharpton II

Christopher Hitchens debated Al Sharpton on Chris Matthew's Hardball program Thursday. This was a rematch between the two, the first bout taking place back in May at the New York Public Library (FIND IT HERE!) Initially, I wondered why Hitchens would bother debating Sharpton, who is an intellectual gnat. But after watching this second debate, it's clear that Hitchens isn't simply trying to increase book sales. He's also perfectly happy to allow a simpleton like Sharpton to "hoist himself by his own petard" and highlight the nonsense often spouted by "people of faith". The good Reverend constantly accused Hitchens of maneuvering rhetorically in an effort to dodge the question of the existence of God (among other questions), while Hitchens gleefully continued to provide answers in such a way as to zoom over Sharpton's head. I still have to wonder, however, why Sharpton is presented to us by the media at all, having long ago lost whatever credibility he may have once possessed.


Saturday, June 23, 2007

Are You Ready For The Summer?

But, the real excitement of course is going to come at the end of the summer, during Sexual Awareness week. We import two hundred hookers from around the world, and each camper, armed with only a thermos of coffee and two thousand dollars cash, tries to visit as many countries as he can. The winner of course is named King of Sexual Awareness week and is allowed to rape and pillage the neighboring towns until camp ends.

Friday, June 15, 2007

My Ol' Kentucky Home

I live in Northern Kentucky and have for most of my life. But if I'm outta town, travelin', or chattin' it up with folks online, I usually say I'm from Cincinnati, Ohio. It's not cuz I like Cincinnati, or dislike KY, cuz I don't. It's just a geographical convenience. Most folks have heard of Cincy (good or ill) and it's just 15 minutes up the 'spressway and 'cross the mighty Ohio River. From now on, however, I'm gonna give props to the great Commonwealth in which I was born and reside. Here's why...




Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Wot's A Fucking Wobble Board?

This notorious bit of audio, recorded surreptitiously, never fails to crack me up. A must-hear for any fan of This Is Spinal Tap, the details and the MP3 file can be found
RIGHT FUCKING HERE!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Some Weird Sin

A fetish is sometimes described as "any nonsexual object or concept that can arouse erotic feelings in a particular person". We, as adults, are pretty familiar with most of your common objects of fetishism: hair, shoes, leather. But
HERE'S A NEW ONE.

Monday, June 11, 2007

New Reads And This Sopranos Nonsense

Finally got a hold of Anthony Bourdain's A Cook's Tour. I read Kitchen Confidential when it came out years ago and really enjoyed it, but why they tried to turn it into a sit-com...I dunno. His show on the Travel Channel, however, is very good. The Food Network is awful anymore and I can't watch it, so No Reservations gives me my exotic food and travel fix. I wanna read The Nasty Bits and Typhoid Mary, but I'll prolly stay away from Bourdain's novels, despite my admiration for his writing style. I can't seem to get into fiction anymore. I may re-read an old favorite, such as Fred Exley's brilliant A Fan's Notes, or Donleavy's The Ginger Man, two books that are never far from my nightstand...uh, I mean milk crate, but fiction doesn't do anything for me lately. There's so much to learn out there and so little time. Certainly, fiction can often get closer to the truth of something like human emotion, but I'm a frickin' robot, so...And I like history.

Which brings me to America's Uncivil Wars: The Sixties Era from Elvis to the Fall of Richard Nixon, by Mark Hamilton Lytle. "The Sixties" have always been grist for my mill, so I'm really lookin' forward to this one. Also in my bailiwick is Seriously Funny: The Rebel Comedians of the 1950's and 1960's. (I seem to favor books with subtitles). Mort Sahl, Woody Allen, Dick Gregory, my man Lenny Bruce, and many others, analyzed and put into historical perspective.

I've always been a fan of The Sopranos, but I'm not gonna pollute the InterWeb with a tiresome assessment of the series finale. I enjoyed it and thought it was fitting. To those idiots who insist on speculating beyond the ending and the dimensions of the fictional world that is The Sopranos I say, "Get over it!" Did you see Tony get whacked? No! Then he didn't get whacked. Case closed. Yes, it's fun to use one's imagination, but television is not a highly participatory form of entertainment. Your input doesn't matter. We weren't voting on Idol. Ya' wanna participate, get a box of crayons!

You may notice that I have finally terminated my boycott of YouTube. I mean, fuck, I"m BLOGGING fer chrissakes, so what the hell.

My computer seems to be limping along okay so hopefully I'll be able to post more and more often...like anybody gives a shit. HULLO? Hullo? hullo? Dig that echo.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Attention

Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed "some kind of beef." Congratulations, Jeffrey! You've just won a brand new Chrysler Cordoba and you can pick it up at Mortie's office.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Friday, May 18, 2007

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Read Much?

Like most voracious readers, I'm always working on 2 or 3 books simultaneously, with a smattering of magazines and cereal boxes thrown in as well. Here's a handful of recent reads worth looking at:

The Tummy Trilogy - Calvin Trillin. The common man's gourmand originally published these three volumes between 1974 and 1983, helping to popularize unpretentious American eats and eateries. Cincinnati-style chili, however, remains an enigma to the rest of the world.

Queenan Country - Joe Queenan. Subtitled A Reluctant Anglophile's Pilgrimage to the Mother Country, the brilliantly funny Queenan crisscrosses Great Britain in hopes of defining the country's unique character. I've always been a great admirer of Queenan's work, this being the 5th book of his that I've read.

Sunday Money - Jeff MacGregor. MacGregor and wife spend 40 weeks in an RV following the insane grind of a season of NASCAR. Never being one of the reported 75 million fans of stock car racing, I still found this book highly entertaining and informative. MacGregor is a talented writer, reminding me of Tom Wolfe and George Plimpton.

Eichmann In Jerusalem - Hannah Arendt. This is political theorist Arendt's controversial first-hand account of Nazi leader Adolf Eichmann's 1961 trial. With this work, Arendt explored her notion of the "banality of evil", an often misunderstood idea that is still debated today. Light reading this ain't, but Arendt's prose is brisk and direct, making this work accessible to most anyone.

In the same vein, I've just started The Coming of the Third Reich by historian Richard J. Evans. The first volume of a proposed three-volume study, Evans looks at the radical changes that turned, in less than a generation, the progressive and vital Germany of 1900 into the aggressive and murderously racist predator nation of Adolf Hitler and the Nazi regime.

I'm also planning on rereading Neil Postman's media study Amusing Ourselves to Death. First published in 1985, I first read this critical attack of television (among other ideas) about ten years ago. It was reissued with a new introduction in 2005. I happened to look at it again recently and found it still quite relevant. I've been slowly killing myself by means of amusement for years!

Lastly, I've been glancing at my copy of issue #17 of The Baffler, the (very) sporadically published periodical out of Chicago that examines modern consumer culture. Heady stuff sometimes, but fun.

Okay, youngsters! Got your library card?

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here!

Some of the "celebrities" who attended this year's Kentucky Derby: Jenny McCarthy, Melissa Joan Hart, Star Jones, Bobby Flay, Kevin Sorbo, and skank-banger Larry Birkhead. Welcome to the Zatso "Z" list. I piss on the Queen from a very great height.

Here, however, is a link to Hunter Thompson's brilliant Derby article originally published by Scanlan's Monthly in June, 1970.